Back from the grave

Hey.  I'm bringing this site back from the grave because I'm missing this creative outlet in a real way. Sometimes I get stoked on the outfits I put together and want to share them in hopes that they inspire.  So Hi, I'm back. 

Shirt: Zara, Leather joggers: Forever 21, Back Pack: Kensie from The Bay

Curiousity

Our curiousities are our soul's gentle whispers.  They tell us where to spend our time and attention.  They should not be ignored, they should not be compromised by our skewed belief that they are trivial and fleeting and frivolous. When we listen to our curiosity we are pointed in the direction of self fulfillment, taken on the soul's journey. 

I haven't posted in a while.  I have been spending my time adjusting to being a mom.  My mind had little room for imagination.  I can feel my curiosity storming back in, it's saying 'Hey, remember me?'  I do.  And I'm glad you're back.  

Here we go again :)

Mother

They say that you will never truly understand how much your mother loves you until you have a child of your own.  I always thought that was a bunch of baloney and simply a comeback for moms to throw at their children to one-up them.  I really thought I knew how much my mother loved me because I knew how much I loved her and that is A LOT.  But it's true, I really didn't have a clue, not until I too became a mom.  I now sit and think to myself, wow, I was once the helpless little baby girl that my mother held in her arms for the first time.  I was the baby she soothed to sleep each night and endlessly responded to my cries just as I am doing now for my daughter.  That thought truly blows my mind.  Now, I know that is an obvious thought - of course I was once a baby and my mom took care of me but I never seriously thought of this concept until I had my girl.

In fact having a child has made me reflect so much on my mother and how I have been and am such a big part of her world.  I now know what my siblings and I mean to her and realize how much she grew to love each and every one of us more with each passing day.  I have been thinking a lot about my childhood and trying to remember the events of my life through my mothers eyes.  It's such an overwhelming realization - that through it all my joy was her joy, my hurt her hurt.  And of course all that she went through and how hard she worked to be a good mother to me.

Becoming a mother is a very scary thing.  The staggering responsibility that comes with loving someone that much is terrifying.  I have only known my daughter, Kaia for 11 weeks now and each day I can't imagine loving her anymore and then I wake up the next day and I inevitably do. So thank you, Mom for loving me for 33 years and counting. I love you, and more importantly I NOW know how much you love me.

 

Little Green

'Born with the moon in Cancer
Choose her a name she will answer to
Call her green and the winters cannot fade her
Call her green for the children who've made her
Little green, be a gypsy dancer'
'Just a little green
Like the color when the spring is born
There'll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow
Just a little green
Like the nights when the Northern lights perform
There'll be icicles and birthday clothes
And sometimes there'll be sorrow'
 

Ever since I heard Joni Mitchell's song 'Little Green' many years ago I've wanted to name my daughter (should I have one) after it.  The song's melancholy makes me feel so much.  It wasn't until years after I heard the song did I look into its meaning.  Turns out Joni Mitchell gave her first born, a daughter, up for adoption when she was a struggling arts student at 20 years old.  She named her daughter Kelly presumably after the colour as the song suggests.  Sadly her adopted parents renamed her.  

So one night in my late pregnancy I played the song for my husband and we spent the rest of the night dreaming up a name that would represent the colour green.  Green is my husband's favorite colour so he was invested in the challenge.  After hours of thinking and searching we came up empty handed, nothing felt right - Jade, Emerald, Juniper, Fern... nah.  So instead of forcing the connection to the song we named our little girl Kaia Rose - we decided to dress her in green instead :)

Here are some photos of Kaia at just a wee 7 days old (photos by me).