Um. So why didn't anyone tell me how hard being a new mom was. Like seriously all you moms out there, what the heck? Why aren't you complaining more? It makes no sense. Let me get this off my chest for all of us.
To give you some insight into the world of being a first time mom here is my Google history with some commentary:
'Why is my baby cranky in the the evenings?' - seriously why? It's like at around 6 pm my baby is a completely different person. There is no warning. Just like that you find yourself getting big smiles one minute and the next minute the baby will only keep from whining or wailing if you're holding her and walking around the house without pausing for a second or else. And don't even think of sitting down, she knows the instant there is a bend at your knees.
When will my baby stop spitting up? - This one may be the worst. Why have I not heard more moms complaining about this. There have been days I have changed both her and my outfit 3 times. Don't get me started on laundry. I used to do laundry less than once a week. Now I am doing it every 2 days. Where is all of this puke coming from? Even when you think there couldn't be anymore left, hours after she's eaten, don't be fooled - there is ALWAYS more. New moms, take it from me and always use a bib or blanket to catch this sopping mess. And buy lots of onesies and sleepers. Oh and that cute little newborn party outfit that you fantasize about your baby wearing, yeah don't buy it, there will be puke on it before you even get the darn thing on. Buy more sleepers instead.
When will my baby start sleeping through the night? - Okay no, this is probably the worst one. So this one I knew about but I don't think I REALLY knew. Like knowing it and living it are two completely different things. You mean the baby needs to eat every three hours? Seriously? Yes, the answer is yes. And by the time you feed her, put her back to sleep and are just about to doze off yourself, well the baby needs to eat again. Or even worse, and you're anxious like me, you can't even fall asleep in anticipation of her waking up again. Then you have to spend your whole day cleaning up puke and doing laundry while sleep deprived. Awesome.
When will my baby learn to smile/sit up/crawl/eat real food/use her hands/talk/walk? Yes, I Googled all of these and more. Way more. Turns out I knew nothing about baby development. Nothing. In the beginning weeks it feels like all work and no pay back. I mean sure you get an adorable baby but it doesn't do anything. Isn't it supposed to do cute things and I can sit back in awe of how lovely this whole parenting thing is? Nope. Well, not yet. Newborns are kinda boring. They don't do anything fun. They sleep, eat, puke, poop and repeat. Thrilling.
'Should I' ... ? - the land of 'should I ' is huge. You will wonder if you should be encouraging certain behaviour while the babe is young so you don't pay for bad habit as they get older. The hard part is that every baby is different and its impossible to know what is "right". So there you sit in the land of 'should I' or should I call it mental anguish. Should I give my baby a soother/a bottle? Should I rock my baby to sleep every night? Should I start sleep training? Should I let my baby cry herself to sleep? You catch my drift. It's endless. It torture.
and then this actually happened, I Googled...
When will taking care of a newborn get easier? Yes, in a dark moment I actually Googled this. I wanted, no I needed to know. Not surprisingly when you type in "when will taking" its the first suggestion that comes up. I sat one lonely night and read a million moms' experiences and motivational words to help me get through this time. It helped to know I wasn't alone.
Just know that this too shall pass and it DOES get better little by little and then sometimes it gets worse again ;) but as the weeks pass by even the slightest smile will melt your heart and you will feel like there is nothing better in the world and you'll be right, cause there isn't.
To all the new moms to be - Good luck. Bahahaha.
Side note: This isn't all of it. There is so much more but, well, I have a newborn and I have to go see what the heck she wants now. The only reason I was able to write this post is because we bought our girl a Cadillac of a swing yesterday and she is in heaven when she's in it (and so are we). Take it from me. Don't wait. Buy one before the little thing even pops out.